• lesbian: that girl is really cute
  • straight boy: oMG DO YOU WANT TO FUCK HER OR SOMETHING LMAO CAN I WATCH

nerdsarerhapsodic:

One of the kids in my high school class was born on April Fool’s and his dad missed his birth because when his mom called to say she was in labour he laughed and hung up on her

(via marguhrat-dot2)

captainsisko:

im a putlocker man at heart but sometimes you just gotta settle for gorillavid

(via marguhrat-dot2)

absentions:

girls who can run in heels should be feared

(via marguhrat-dot2)



I saw a typical disney-vacation family commercial on tv, the kind with laughing people, and wondered for a minute how they got the kids to act so ridiculously joyful. I reasoned that there must be a professional job for kids who were good at looking happy, which I called “happy-children”

I meant actors ;-;